Coupon Rant

"FACT: 80% of Salmonella Poisoning Happens at Home," so sayeth the Lysol ad.

Let's all be appropriately-frightened by that. I'll wait while you panic.

Ok, all done? Good. It didn't take me long to recover my senses, either. Maybe I'm getting cynical after the SARS crap and then the invisible bird flu epidemic.

What causes salmonellosis?

You can get salmonellosis by eating food contaminated with salmonella. This can happen in the following ways:

• Food may be contaminated during food processing or food handling.
• Food may become contaminated by the unwashed hands of an infected food handler. A frequent cause is a food handler who does not wash his or her hands with soap after using the bathroom.
• Salmonella may also be found in the feces of some pets, especially those with diarrhea. You can become infected if you do not wash your hands after contact with these feces.
• Reptiles, baby chicks and ducklings, and small rodents such as hamsters are particularly likely to carry salmonella. You should always wash your hands immediately after handling one of these animals, even if the animal is healthy. Adults should also be careful that children wash their hands after handling reptiles, baby chicks or ducklings, or small rodents.

Beef, poultry, milk, and eggs are most often infected with salmonella. However, vegetables may also be contaminated. Contaminated foods usually look and smell normal. (End quote)

So. Basically what that means is (considering that salmonella is incredibly rare in milk and eggs) if you'll just not spread raw meats on the counter and make a habit of washing your hands with soap... often... you'll be fine.
Oh, and don't set up your personal petting zoo in the kitchen.

Why am I ranting about this? Because Lysol thinks we are all in constant need of disinfecting. I'll push right on past the fact that a strong immune system is your best bet against any kind of invading microbe- salmonella, cold viruses, ringworm fungus, whatever. And the same SAFE, sane advice applies. Wash your hands. Don't bother with anti-bacterial soap, because it's unnecessary and the simple action of washing... and the slippery effect of soap on microbes... is what does the trick.
It works.
Really.
All the experts agree.

They also agree that all the stupid antibacterial crap and overuse of ingested antibiotics has led to an alarming crisis of resistant bacteria.

Thanks a fucking lot, Lysol.

Oh, but the fun doesn't stop there, noooo.... What IS Lysol, anyway? It's nastiness goes beyond simply killing all the weakest bacteria (they proudly proclaim that they kill 99.9% of bacteria... um... so that means the strongest .1% live on and make babies. Great. Way to think ahead on that one. Lysol is breeding the new Master Race of bacterial goodness.) Lysol is mainly comprised of cresol, a close-relative of carbolic acid, which was all the disinfecting rage at the turn of the last century. It just happened to also be pretty darn dangerous. So, it was tinkered with some more, but cresol is pretty much just as dangerous. Lovely. Let's spray that all over our kitchens. Sure, they now have that Food Surface Sanitizer variant... that no one knows the ingredients of. It's "bleach, color, and fragrance-free."

Um... does that mean regular Lysol has bleach, color, and fragrance added?

I don't even want to think of it. My head is spinning. We have all this evidence, all these studies that show that many modern ills, like allergies and lethal bacteria, are the results of not being dirty enough. That's right. We never play in th dirt, peel all our fruits and veggies, cook our meats to cardboard consistency, and disinfect our entire houses daily. That's what our government tells us to do. That's what will make us healthy.

Except it doesn't.

Maybe that's why Lysol thoughtfully includes a $5 rebate offer, so the good little mommies can take their kids to the pediatrician. Maybe that's why Lysol is the "#1 pediatrician recommended brand."

Hmmm....