Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

That's military-speak for WTF, which I'm sure you all are familiar with.

I think it should be the new name for my "coupon rant." Because it is more inclusive. And while I'm ranting off and throwing tantrums about stupid things, I definitely want to be inclusive.

I was already in a mood this morning, for reasons I won't get into here. Add to that my favorite NFL team deciding to not attend the game today (apparently), and I was primed for my rather-late glance through the paper.

I found a couple of things to rant about in the one, lonely coupon insert, but they were fairly ho-hum. I was spared from mediocrity, however, by the TV.

Have you seen the new Hershey's commercials? Where people pop out of a glob of waxy brown goo (oh, I'm sorry, it's called chocolate) and grab each other's hands in a soul-warming round-the-choco-globe display of We Are The World-style peace and joy? Yeah. And the voiceover says idiotic things, basically claiming that eating a Hershey bar will give you friends, happiness, togetherness, and possibly world peace.

Folks, I've yelled it before and I'll yell it again... in the broadest interpretation of the word, Hershey's is food. It is not a magic life-fixing elixir. It is not a foil-wrapped solution to any of your problems. It is not a logo-imprinted bar of good emotions. It is candy. (Not even good candy, at that!) Eating a Hershey's bar will not make you happy, even if you share it with your best friend. Any emotions you experience while doing so are a result of your own good will... the act of sharing, not the magic of the thing being shared. Eating a Hershey's bar will not give you a happy family, will not fill their hearts with happy memories of time spent together, and will not bring about world peace. Especially since most mass-market chocolate relies on slavery and bloodshed.

Food is very important, and nourishing food can certainly improve your overall moods, simply because you'll feel better physically. It's really hard to be chipper and helpful when you're nauseous and exhausted... which is exactly how I'd feel if I were to eat a damn Hershey's bar. But if you turn to food for emotional/mental support for the things that are wrong in your life... you won't find happiness. Been there, done that. Discovering multiple food allergies was the best thing that ever happened to me, in that regard... because it was no longer convenient (or even possible in some cases) to use food as a balm for every wound or the center of every celebration.

The longer I spend away from much TV, the easier it is to see just how blatantly it tries to brainwash people... grrrrr....